Any advice on how to deal with chronic lying?

Well, all the advice I can give you is what happend with my past relationship with my ex. He was the same way, however he was not successful or respected in his work. He would lie from everything to where he bought the cat to the biggest about going out and cheating on me and ect. I tried everything from ending the relationship, to trying to help his ego. My ex always seemed to be ego-tistical and big headed, but I came to the conclusion that the reason he lied so much was because he was self-consious and down on himself *hense why he always lied to make himself better*. And every time I knew he was lying I would always give him a chance to come clean. Like are you sure this is what really happend....and if he said yes I would call him out on it. He seemed to quit lying as much or just started getting a little more sneeky...either way it helped a little bit. and he always did put himself on the defensive which always make me seem like he did have something to hid. However, I finally ended it because of all the trust issues and the fact I finally caught him cheating on me. Kinda...and i mean kinda sounds like what you are going through, but since he is older, I feel that his ways will never change. Lying for 54 years can be very hard to overcome. and like you said since he does go on the defensive.... shows he does have something to defend and hide. I guess the best bet would just give him a chance to come clean and if he doesnt it comfront him cuz you have a clear example of him lying... just make sure when he does tell you the truth that you dont get mad at him.. make sure you say...thank you for telling the truth...and then why your upset...and then end on a positive note...other than that...its all you can do i guess.. Good luck