If there really is a God, who is a all powerful and all merciful,,,,,,,,,?

This is sorta where I started too. And decided that god wasn't a being or a person, but something else, way different. Other wise, the idea of a god, makes no sense.... it ends up being inherited stories that we all had hammered into our heads since we were 4, and till carrying that stuff around like a backpack at 40.