I am sad. i dont like my life=(?

i hate my life and have always. i dont have any friends im always either alone or with my crazy family. i just wanna move out and get away from them but everyone tells me i cant bevcause even if i get a job i wont be able to afford anything. i am sad all the time and have always felt this way. i dont want to be near my crazy family anymore. i am 21 years old while everyone else my age is having their own life and being succesful. i go to a stupid community college taking one cl thats not even counted as a credit because i am not smart in school nomatter how much study for some reaosn. its the third time im trying togo to school ive gone before but basically quit. i braely am able to concentrate on my hwrk. i think ive lost my mind. i do belive in god i pray and ask for help but its lke he doesnt do anything for me. i feel like im gonna stuck here forever. i want to talkto a counselor because at least i'll have someoneto talk to but i cant because they cost money and my family doesnt believe in them. they dont think im sad. i want to be dead. whenver i want to cut my self i dont because i dont want to have scars that people would ask about they dont understand. whenever i tell them i am they say i should be thankful for what i do have and i am but i dont wanna live my life like this anymore. my family always argue's especially with me when i dont do anything wrong. try to stay positive but they dont like when i am and are mean to me. its like the rule is they dont want me to be a happy person. what do you think i shuld do?